#den

I lunged, low and quick, and drove about a foot of cold steel into his danglies. Hey, I don't care what kind of fearie or mortal or hideous creature you are. If you've got danglies, and can loose them, that's the kind of sight that makes you reconsider the possible genitalia-related ramifications of your actions real damned quick. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #proven-guilty #humor

Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention." [Shrub Flubs His Dub, The Nation, June 18, 2001] ↗

— Molly Ivins

#george-w-bush #humor #politics #presidents #texas

It turns out that Molly wasn't her mother's daughter in that respect. Charity was like the MacGuyver of the kitchen. She could whip up a five-course meal for twelve from an egg, two spaghetti noodles, some household chemicals, and a stick of chewing gum. Molly ... Molly once burned my egg. My boiled egg. I don't know how. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#domesticity #dresden-files #humor #humor

Maybe,” he said in a slow, rural drawl, “you could explain to me why I found you in the middle of an orgy.” “Well,” I said, “if you’re going to be in an orgy, the middle is the best spot, isn’t it. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #orgy #sarcasm #humor

Unicorns," I said. "Very dangerous. You go first. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #unicorns #humor

Seedy wasn't a fair description for the place, because seeds imply eventual regrowth and renewal. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humorous #humor

Unless you intend to kill him immediately thereafter, never kick a man in the balls. Not even symbolically. Or perhaps especially not symbolically. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#patriarchy #prudence #humor

Aer-O-Smith. Arrowsmith. Does the shirt belong to your weapon dealer?” “No.” “Then why do you wear the shirt of someone else’s weapon dealer? ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #t-shirts #humor

For surely as each November has its April, mysteries only are significant; and one mystery-of-mysteries creates them all: nothing false and possible is love (who's imagined,therefore limitless) love's to giving as to keeping's give; as yes is to if,love is to yes ↗

— E.E. Cummings

#mystery #transcendence #imagination

Dear Philip, I don't imagine you will ever read this. If you do, it is bacause something dreadful has happened to me. I find myself in the hands of a dangerous man. I am determined to fight him but before I do, my heart demands that I write this note to tell you that I love you. I am sending my heart to you in this letter so it will be kept safe from whatever may happen to me tonight. I don't know if you want it or not, but it has always been yours. With all my love, Marianne ↗

— Julianne Donaldson

#regency-romance #imagination