#dick

Why not? If you're not going to let me see you naked, we might as well be girlfriends." "You're a twisted little man." "Come on, Stretch, share with the class." "No!" I laughed. "Prude." "Perv." "Schoolmarm." "Some other word that essentially means perv. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #perv

Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile. Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast. "What? Sarcastic postkill comeback. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in situations like this? Too harsh? ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #gabriel #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

Jane Jameson." He grinned. "Like the porn star." I gaped at him. "What? No, Jane Jameson." "Oh, not as fun," he said, making disappointed clucking noises. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #porn-star

What was that?" Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope the situation didn't escalate to the dreaded purple nurple. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #purple-nurple

JESSICA: When did you last go to London? HUGH: When I read a Dickens novel. That was when I resolved never to travel there. ↗

— Bauvard

#britain #dickens #funny #humor #london

Mr Lorry asks the witness questions: Ever been kicked? Might have been. Frequently? No. Ever kicked down stairs? Decidedly not; once received a kick at the top of a staircase, and fell down stairs of his own accord. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#dickens #humor #lie #witness #humor

Start her, now; give 'em the long and strong stroke, Tashtego. Start her, Tash, my boy--start her, all; but keep cool, keep cool--cucumbers is the word--easy, easy--only start her like grim death and grinning devils, and raise the buried dead perpendicular out of their graves, boys--that's all. Start her! ↗

— Herman Melville

#moby-dick #death

That Love is all there is Is all we know of Love, It is enough, the freight should be Proportioned to the groove. ↗

— Emily Dickinson

#love-quotes #love

They call each other `E.’ Elvis picks wildflowers near the river and brings them to Emily. She explains half-rhymes to him. In heaven Emily wears her hair long, sports Levis and western blouses with rhinestones. Elvis is lean again, wears baggy trousers and T-shirts, a letterman’s jacket from Tupelo High. They take long walks and often hold hands. She prefers they remain just friends. Forever. Emily’s poems now contain naugahyde, Cadillacs, Electricity, jets, TV, Little Richard and Richard Nixon. The rock-a-billy rhythm makes her smile. Elvis likes himself with style. This afternoon he will play guitar and sing “I Taste A Liquor Never Brewed” to the tune of “Love Me Tender.” Emily will clap and harmonize. Alone in their cabins later, they’ll listen to the river and nap. They will not think of Amherst or Las Vegas. They know why God made them roommates. It’s because America was their hometown. It’s because God is a thing without feathers. It’s because God wears blue suede shoes. ↗

— Hans Ostrom

#elvis-presley #emily-dickinson #hans #heaven #in

Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath. ↗

— Michael Caine

#calm #dickens #duck #like #like a duck