#diet

I'm going on a diet.  (Crud, I know) I am going to be cranky.  I am going to be irritable. I am going to be moody and sad and mean.  And, yes, I am going to be hungry.  Please don't feed me, even if I try to bite you.  Please don't tease me, I may hurt you. Please don't try to encourage me, I may growl and snap at you.  Please don't help me, I may blame you for everything aggravating in the known universe.   Please don't be offended by my scowl, I cannot smile.   But most importantly, please keep your distance until this trial is over to prevent any unnecessary casualties.  Thank you for your understanding.  ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#food #humor #richelle #richelle-goodrich #weight-loss

Everything in food works together to create health or disease. The more we think that a single chemical characterizes a whole food, the more we stray into idiocy. ↗

— T. Colin Campbell

#nutrition #diet

Women get boob jobs to give themselves a certain edge. Frankly, I don't see why they nearly kill themselves trying to diet off their equally bulbous hips. ↗

— Kim Brittingham

#dieting #weight-loss #diet

Children should have a balanced diet. They should only consume sugar, salt, and fat in equal quantities. ↗

— Bauvard

#diet #funny #humor #diet

Chances are, if we can't laugh at something, we can't think rationally about it. ↗

— Clay A. Johnson

#observational #diet

Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#diet

Tyson dropped the two warriors he was about to tie into a knot and jogged after us. He jumped on the centaur's back. 'Dude!' the centaur groaned, almost buckling under Tyson's weight. 'Do the words "low-carb diet" mean anything to you? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#diet #humorous #tyson #diet

Treat yourself like a fat person with aches and pains and a suitcase full of excuses, and good luck--you'll stay exactly where you are. Train like an athlete and, though you may not look like one now, you will become one. ↗

— Chalene Johnson

#diet #fitness #goals #success #diet

You may not think you eat a lot of corn and soybeans, but you do: 75 percent of the vegetable oils in your diet come from soy (representing 20 percent of your daily calories) and more than half of the sweeteners you consume come from corn (representing around 10 perecent of daily calories). ↗

— Michael Pollan

#diet

Eating – overeating – saved me. It comforted me when I was at the mercy of grown-ups who didn't know how to give what I needed. Food was something to which I had ready access, and with it I cleverly fashioned a survival mechanism that pulled me back from the edge of insanity. – a young MacGuyver of angst and junk food. ↗

— Kim Brittingham

#dieting #food #food-additction #mental-health #diet