#ding

We are in a bit of a policy box and it's going to require us being willing to give up one of the two, which is it's okay to take on more deficits but lets put in some massive spending. Alternatively to say, 'we're going to go through structural unemployment for a while because we want to address deficits.' ↗

— Indra Nooyi

#because #being #bit #box #deficits

Next to coming to a good understanding with a new mistress, I love a quarrel with an old one. ↗

— George Etherege

#good #i #i love #love #mistress

When in doubt, poke the beehive with a stick to see if anything interesting flies out. I clapped my hands. 'I had no idea Pit teams had such pretty cheerleaders. Can you do it again, but with more spirit this time? ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#funny #joke #kate #funny

The funny thing is that although we place so much energy and importance on our wedding day, it isn't the biggest day of our life. The biggest day of your life is every day thereafter. Because it's not the pledge to love someone that matters, but the act of fulfilling that pledge that is most important. In other words, it's only just begun. ↗

— Laura Wolf

#wedding #funny

I had the great idea of using markers to gently color the ants so I could tell them apart, but I learned that this is exactly like somebody trying to gently color on you with a thirty-story building. Without dwelling on the tragedy, I'd just like to say that I'm deeply sorry to Mr. Purple and the surviving Purple family. ↗

— Jim Benton

#building #coloring #funny #purple #family

The coverlet warmed her legs. The firelight wobbled over the pages. Maelyn sank into the world the words wrapped around her, hushing everything that hurt, and seeping tranquility right down to her toes. She was home. ↗

— Anita Valle

#reading #home

And what made these heart-to-hearts possible--you might even say what made the whole friendship possible during that time--was this understanding we had that anything we told each other during these moments would be treated with careful respect: that we'd honor confidences, and that no matter how much we rowed, we wouldn't use against each other anything we'd talked about during those sessions. ↗

— Kazuo Ishiguro

#honor #respect #understanding #friendship

I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his eyebrows. He accepted and was so grateful that he offered to trade mustaches with me. In remembrance of that special bonding moment, I still wear his mustache over my left nipple.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bald #baldness #bond #bonding #eyebrows

The problem with winter sports is that -- follow me closely here -- they generally take place in winter. ↗

— Dave Barry

#humor #ice-fishing #ice-skating #skiing #snow-camping

I read the fuck out of every book I can get my hands on. ↗

— Nick Hornby

#humor #reading #humor