#dot

After all, this was the place where I’d had my first meaningful conversation with a female, it was the site of a football’s first encounter with my groin, and above all, it was the location where I was first punched in the face by a bully. Somewhere out there, a tooth of mine lay deep within the soil. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essay #funny #humor #funny

Ever since the robot was first invented, there have been people who swear up and down that this marks the first step towards the fall of man … To be fair, their arguments are backed with scientific fact taken from documentary films such as The Terminator, The Matrix, and RoboCop. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essay #funny #humor #funny

It wasn’t enough that I had to worry about playing well and winning the game, but I also had to deal with possibility that one of my teammates could be dragged off the field by the inhabitants of the mental hospital. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essays #funny #hilarious #humor

They are trying to take you back from me now, and they will—but only for a brief, little while— ↗

— Maryrose Wood

#death #love #poison #weed #death

Now if a man thus favoured died as he has lived, he will be just the one you are looking for: the only sort of person who deserves to be called happy. But mark this: until he is dead, keep the word "happy" in reserve. Till then, he is not happy, but only lucky... ↗

— Herodotus

#happy #herodotus #history #life #lucky

I love you," he repeated, shaking her again. "I have for years. And he hurt you and made me watch because he's always know how I felt, too. But if I asked you to pick, you'd choose Arobynn, and I. Can't. Take. It. ↗

— Sarah J. Maas

#sam-cortland #love

Reflection is a good thing. It allows us to look back in time so we can connect the dots between specific memories to reveal the purpose and meaning behind synchronistic events. ↗

— Molly Friedenfeld

#connect-dots #inspiration #inspirational-quotes #life-purpose #memories

I never could make out what those damn dots meant. ↗

— Randolph Churchill

#damn #dots #i #make #meant

The first way not to shake hands is executed by receiving someone’s hand in yours and proceeding to squeeze it tightly, hurting the other party as if they were responsible for a past death in your family, or your adoption as a child. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essay #funny #humor #death

He that is thy friend indeed, he will help thee in thy need: if thou sorrow, he will weep; if you wake, he cannot sleep; thus of every grief in heart he with thee doth bear a part. ↗

— Richard Barnfield

#cannot #doth #every #friend #grief