#dresden

Put some clothes on, you weird, yellow-eyed, table-dancing, werewolf-training, cryptic, stare-me-right-in-the-eyes-and-don't-even-blink wench. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #women #humor

See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #religion #humor

Heroism doesn't pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#heroism #humor #humor

A succubus on the set. Strike that, the health-conscious kid sister made it two… succubuses. Succubusees? Succubi? Stupid Latin correspondence course. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #lara-raith #humor

Nobody can be bad at everything. There’s no such thing as a perfect screwup. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

I have nightmares about hell, where all I do is add up numbers and try to have conversations with people like you. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #humor

I’ve had a tense couple of days. And I’ve got to tell you, burning someone’s face off sounds like a great way to relax. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

If your opponent has you by fifty pounds, winning a fight against him is a dubious proposition, at best. If your opponent has you by eight thousand and fifty pounds, you’ve left the realm of combat and enrolled yourself in Road-kill 101. Or possibly in a Tom and Jerry cartoon. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

The married thing. Sometimes I look at it and feel like someone from a Dickens novel, standing outside in the cold and staring in at Christmas dinner. Relationships hadn't ever really worked for me. I think it's had something to do with all the demons, ghosts, and human sacrifice. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #love #michael-carpenter #humor

That’s the problem with you nearly immortal types,” I said. “You couldn’t spot a pop culture reference if it skittered up and implanted an embryo down your esophagus. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #humor