#dresden

Hell's holy stars and freaking stones shit bells. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #humor

Stop," Kincaid said in a calm voice. "Unclench." "Unclench what?" Murphy demanded. "Unclench your ass." "Excuse me?" "You're going to trip the beam. You need another quarter inch. Relax." "I am relaxed," Murphy growled. "Oh," Kincaid said. "Damn, great ass then. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

The words first. Damned near everything begins with words. "I am," I breathed, and suddenly the ice was clear of my mouth. "I am Harry..." I panted, and the pain redoubled. And I laughed. As if some freak who never loved enough to know loss could tell me about pain. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#love

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#motivation #motivational

Of course Evil's afoot. If it had switched to the metric system it'd be up to a meter by now. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#evil

Most of the bad guys in the real world don't know that they are bad guys. You don't get a flashing warning sign that you're about to damn yourself. It sneaks up on you when you aren't looking. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #molly-carpenter #evil

You predicted quick victory. Now it’s going to get hopelessly complicated. Jesus, don’t you know any better than that by now? ↗

— Jim Butcher

#optimism #pessimism #thomas-raith #victory

How long have you been a Wiccan?' 'A what?' 'A pagan. A witch.' 'I'm not a witch,' I said, glancing out the door. 'I'm a wizard.' Sanya frowned. 'What is the difference?' 'Wizard has a Z' He looked at me blankly. 'No one appreciates me.' I muttered. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #wizard #death

I'm dealing with a lot of scary things. I think you have to react to them. And you either laugh at them or you go insane. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #life #death

So we get a plan," I said. "Any suggestions?" "Blow up the building," Kincaid said without looking up. "That works good for vampires. Then soak what's left in gasoline. Set it on fire. Then blow it all up again." "For future reference, I was sort of hoping for a suggestion that didn't sound like it came from that Bolshevik Muppet with all the dynamite. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #vampires #humor