#eat

You - will - never - touch - our - children - again!' screamed Mrs. Weasley. Bellatrix laughed, the same exhilarated laugh her cousin Sirius had given as he toppled backwards through the veil, and suddenly Harry knew what was going to happen before it did. Molly's curse soared beneath Bellatrix's outstretched arm and hit her squarely in the chest, directly over her heart. Bellatrix's gloating smile froze, her eyes seemed to bulge: for the tiniest space of time she knew what had happened, and then she toppled, and the watching crowd roared, and Voldemort screamed. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#molly-weasley #voldemort #death

My birthday is on a holiday, I just have to wait until I die and they commemorate me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#commemorate #death #holiday #humor #immortalize

Laughter is the stubborn reward of grim times. ↗

— Edward McPherson

#humor #keaton #laughter #humor

You know,” OreSeur muttered quietly, obviously counting on her tin to let Vin hear him, “it seems that these meetings would be more productive if someone forgot to invite those two.” Vin smiled. “They’re not that bad,” she whispered. OreSeur raised an eyebrow. “Okay,” Vin said. “They do distract us a little bit.” “I could always eat on of them, if you wish,” OreSeur said. “That might speed things up.” Vin paused. OreSeur, however had a strange little smile on his lips. “Kandra humor, Mistress. I apologize. We can be a bit grim.” Vin smiled. “They probably wouldn’t taste very good anyway. Ham’s far too stringy, and you don’t want to know the kinds of things that Breeze spends his time eating….” “I’m not sure,” OreSeur said. “One is, after all, named ‘Ham.’ As for the other…” He nodded to the cup of wine in Breeze’s hand. “He does seem quite fond of marinating himself. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#marinating-oneself #humor

Undo it, take it back, make every day the previous one until I am returned to the day before the one that made you gone. Or set me on an airplane traveling west, crossing the date line again and again, losing this day, then that, until the day of loss still lies ahead, and you are here instead of sorrow. ↗

— Nessa Rapoport

#loss #sorrow #dating

I don't think you should die until you're ready. Until you've wrung out every last bit of living you can. ↗

— Libba Bray

#death

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet. ↗

— Stanislaw Lec

#beneath #beware #feet #ground #joy

The difference between a top-flight creative man and the hack is his ability to express powerful meanings indirectly. ↗

— Vance Packard

#between #creative #creative man #difference #express

I also read about Heathcliff's unexpected three-year career in Hollywood under the name Buck Stallion and his eventual return to the pages of Wuthering Heights. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humor #wuthering-heights #humor

Clarabelle...Clarabelle... You worked as Kenspeckle Grouse's assistant, did you not?' 'One of the. He fired all the others.' 'But not you?' 'He fired me on the second day, but I kept coming in. I had nowhere else to go.' 'And then you killed him.' 'Yes.' 'A Remnant squirmed inside you, and you killed Kenspeckle Grouse.' 'Yes.' Nye grinned. 'You're hired. But I have warn you, if you try to kill me, I will dissect you and sing along to your screams.' 'Can I have Mondays off?' 'You may. ↗

— Derek Landy

#dr-nye #humor #skulduggery-pleasant #death