#eli

Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor #mormonism #religion #robot #humor

There is no reason to regard God as immune from consideration along the spectrum of probabilities. And there is certainly no reason to suppose that, just because God can be neither proved nor disproved, his probability of existence is 50 per cent. ↗

— Richard Dawkins

#religion #science #humor

Baptists: I'm a pious guy, but even I have my limits. I draw the line right around spending 8 hours in church every Sunday. Church should be a solemn 45 minutes to sit quietly and feel guilty, with donuts at the end to make you feel better. I don't go in for a full day of singing and dancing and rejoicing, no matter how nice the hats are. I prefer my Gospel monotonously droned to me from a pulpit, thank you very much. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#religion #humor

You frighten me, when you say there isn't time." "I don't see why. Christians have been expecting the imminent end of the world for millennia." "But it keeps not ending." "So far, so good. ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#humor #religion #humor

He's attracted to the smell of manure," Felicity says. "You might wallow in the stables to bring out the full flower of his love. ↗

— Libba Bray

#humor #libba-bray #rebel-angels #humor

The Theist tells us that the truth is god exists, the Atheist tells us that the truth is there is no god, while the truth tells us we don't know. ↗

— Kodai Okuda

#knowledge #philosophy #religion #science #wisdom

Some days life just wasn't worth the trouble of chewing through the leather straps on the straitjacket. ↗

— Katie Maxwell

#humor #humor

If you want me you're going to have to come and get me. ↗

— Tiffanie DeBartolo

#humor #love #paul-hudson #humor

Thank you sir," she said. "I hope that your friend feels better soon." I shrugged. "The ways of the Lord" I said, "are often dark, but never pleasant. ↗

— Robert B. Parker

#humor #religon #spenser #humor

Belief sloshes around in the firmament like lumps of clay spiralling into a potter's wheel. That's how gods get created, for example. They clearly must be created by their own believers, because a brief resume of the lives of most gods suggests that their origins certainly couldn't be divine. They tend to do exactly the things people would do if only they could, especially when it comes to nymphs, golden showers, and the smiting of your enemies. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#religion #humor