#eli

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#course #doctor #feeling #golf #golf course

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? ↗

— Groucho Marx

#eyes #going #me #own #who

Religion is the impotence of the human mind to deal with occurrences it cannot understand. ↗

— Karl Marx

#deal #human #human mind #impotence #mind

Religion is the opium of the masses. ↗

— Karl Marx

#opium #religion

The first requisite for the happiness of the people is the abolition of religion. ↗

— Karl Marx

#first #happiness #people #religion #requisite

Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people. ↗

— Karl Marx

#creature #heart #heartless #opium #oppressed

If I told people that I knew what I was doing, nobody would believe me, so why even try and fake it? ↗

— Andrew Mason

#doing #even #fake #i #knew

The popularity of Groupon has almost rendered the group-buying element of it obsolete, because we're able to deliver so many customers that the merchants are very happy with even the smallest number that we can provide. ↗

— Andrew Mason

#almost #because #customers #deliver #element

I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times. ↗

— Jackie Mason

#because #believe #come #conclusion #different

I am leaving because I have to fight simultaneously a potential recurrence of cancer the Democratic leadership, a health care bill that's going to destroy this country, my opposition to it and a belief that my party has become what it became - what it campaigned against. ↗

— Eric Massa

#am #became #because #become #belief