#end

It's like pretending to be Santa and then stabbing someone with a candy cane! ↗

— J.B. Stanley

#christmas #humor #murder #pretend #santa

In a book, even the real bastards can't hurt you. And you can never loose a friend you make in a book. When you get to a sad part, no one's there to see you cry. Or wonder why you don't cry when you should. ↗

— Dean Koontz

#characters #friends #humor #life #people

Duty has a trick of behaving unexpectedly -- something like a heavy friend whom we have amiably asked to visit us, and who breaks his leg within our gates. ↗

— George Eliot

#humor #life #wisdom #friendship

Perhaps you had better watch your back, stupid glowy golden faerie man whore" He frowned at me. "That made no sense" "Good! Now maybe I can join your club ↗

— Kiersten White

#evie #faeries #humor #light-and-dark #reth

Watch over Honoria, will you? See that she doesn’t marry an idiot. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#friends #humor #love #humor

The preface? Why would he waste time with the preface? Skip the preface and move on to the meat of the thing! ↗

— Kenneth Oppel

#horror #nerd-humor #oppel #this-dark-endeavor #humor

We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers. ↗

— George W. Bush

#friends #humor #pacemaker #peacemaker #humor

They mean hot like 'I'm too good for you I got my own money don't be frontin' me.' You're more like 'Be my boyfriend I'll make you cookies come meet my dad ' know what I mean ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#girls #humor #humor

You're incredible. I can feel your power and it's more than anything I...Violet," he swallowed, watching me in awe. "It's like...It's like you're as powerful as an angel." -Lincoln ↗

— Jessica Shirvington

#jessica-shirvington #lincoln #link #love #soulmates

Open your eyes, baby. Look at me.” He pressed his forehead down to meet mine, my eyelids fluttering open at his command. “Look at me and tell me you don’t want it.” I peered up at him with unsteady breaths, hearing his throat work when I tilted my lips to graze his. The contact was feather light, my heart hammering through my chest at the feel of it. “I’m looking,” I breathed against him. “Good. Because right now, all I want to do is rip your clothes off and make you come until you can’t stand, and I want your eyes on me the whole time, are we clear?” -Jackson and Emma ↗

— Rachael Wade

#intimacy #love #sex #love