#er

Bitterness is so ugly. ↗

— Amy Heckerling

#ugly

Bitterness is so ugly. I don't want to go there. ↗

— Amy Heckerling

#go #i #ugly #want

The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses, not tricycles, I shot him. Of course, I waited until another gunslinger gunned him down, but nevertheless, I still shot him. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clever #cowboy #cowboys #creative #creativity

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read! ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#children #every #kid #read

Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.' ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#else #every #every time #go #gonna

If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#fingers #had #i #missing #nine

My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#called #does #gets #got #halfway

I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience. ↗

— Patrick Henry

#feet #guided #i #lamp #which

That's what protagonists do. They work hard, they have a conflict, they overcome the obstacles. ↗

— Jon Heder

#hard #obstacles #overcome #protagonists #work

Hitchcock had a very strange mind. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#hitchcock #mind #strange #very