#ere

I’m the sexiest of them all! - Carol ↗

— Matthew Leeth

#funny #horror #matthew-leeth #me #she-was-different

Best friends one, and now we have almost nothing to say to each other. It was interesting, how he had joined those guys and I just stayed on my own. I didn't like it or dislike it. It was just funny that things had turned out that way. ↗

— Markus Zusak

#friends #funny #interesting #like #the-way-things-turn-out

So why are you so mad at me for kissing you?” “Because you took too long. If you'd done that, say, three years ago, we wouldn't have only had one kiss before we both get horribly mutilated. ↗

— Rusty Fischer

#romance-funny #romantic #ushers #vampires #werewolves

I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. ↗

— George Carlin

#stereotypes #humor

He was bored now when Emma suddenly began to sob on his breast; and his heart, like the people who can only stand a certain amount of music, became drowsy through indifference to the vibrations of a love whose subtleties he could no longer distinguish. ↗

— Gustave Flaubert

#crying #indifference #love #sadness #love

Kools and Newports were for black people and lower-class whites. Camels were for procrastinators, those who wrote bad poetry, and those who put off writing bad poetry. Merits were for sex addicts, Salems were for alcoholics, and Mores were for people who considered themselves to be outrageous but really weren't. ↗

— David Sedaris

#smoking #stereotypes #humor

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. ↗

— James Thurber

#chaos #emotional #remembered #tranquility

Believe me, It would be better if we didn't meet again. Go back to school. Go back to your life. And next time they ask you, say no. Killing is for grown-ups and you're still a child. ↗

— Anthony Horowitz

#funny #humor #incentive #inspirational #interesting

Goodness, Will, if you keep seeing Six-Fingered Nigel like this, he'll expect you to declare your intentions." -Tessa ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#six-fingered-nigel #tessa #humor

I wish I had realized the truth - that she had always been indifferent to me - instead of taking for granted her pretenses of love. It would have made me more strongly attracted to her. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#indifference #love #love