#smoking

I will go so far as to say probably smoking had something to do with my pancreatic cancer. ↗

— Patrick Swayze

#far #go #had #i #probably

You know, I'm worried about Szymborska. I wish she would stop smoking. ↗

— Wislawa Szymborska

#i #i wish #know #she #smoking

He grumbles incoherently, opens the window a fraction and continues to smoke away. It’s like every time Sidney Drake enters a new location he has to readjust the atmosphere, akin to one of those sci-fi shows where they oxygenate the planet, but for my dad it’s in a suffocating reverse. He replaces the clean wholesome air with a non-stop puff of toxic poison. ↗

— Tom Conrad

#apocalypse #breathe #end-of-the-world #family-saga #oxygen

Listening to a news broadcast is like smoking a cigarette and crushing the butt in the ashtray. ↗

— Milan Kundera

#broadcast #cigarette #crushing #like #listening

They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed. ↗

— Bill Maher

#any #banning #bed #cigarette #cigarette smoking

Man, it was a good thing vampires didn't get cancer. Lately he'd been chain-smoking like a felon. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#cancer #humor #life #smoking #humor

Personally, if I were trying to discourage people from smoking, my sign would be a little different. In fact, I might even go too far in the opposite direction. My sign would say something like, "Smoke if you wish. But if you do, be prepared for the following series of events: First, we will confiscate your cigarette and extinguish it somewhere on the surface of your skin. We will then run you nicotine-stained fingers through a paper shredder and throw them into the street, where wild dogs will swallow them and then regurgitate them into the sewers, so that infected rats can further soil them before they're flushed out to sea with the rest of the city's filth. After such time, we will sysematically seek out your friends and loved one and destroy their lives." Wouldn't you like to see a sign like that? ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #smoking #funny

Smoking I find the most ridiculous of all the varieties of human behavior and practically the only one that is entirely against nature. Can you imagine a cow or any animal taking a mouthful of smoldering straw than breathing in the smoke and blowing it out through its nostrils? ↗

— Ian Fleming

#imagination

Kools and Newports were for black people and lower-class whites. Camels were for procrastinators, those who wrote bad poetry, and those who put off writing bad poetry. Merits were for sex addicts, Salems were for alcoholics, and Mores were for people who considered themselves to be outrageous but really weren't. ↗

— David Sedaris

#smoking #stereotypes #humor

When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate. ↗

— Jeffrey Bernard

#happiness #humor #sex #smoking #humor