#ff

I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems rather otherworldly in more ways than one. ↗

— Criss Jami

#attraction #fantasy #funny #funny-but-true #gallant

"Joss" "What?" "What?" Dylan asked back. "You just said my name." "No I didn't" "Sorry that was me." I sat up, banging my head on the roof. "Who is that?" "Hey, stay down here where the air is good, okay?" Dylan pulled me gently back down. "Hows your head?" "Not good, I think." "Um, okay, so you here me. Heather's right, you do think loud. I mean, I've never heard you before, but my Talent seems to be a lot more selective than her's. But now that she's got me turned in to you-" "Who are you?" "It's still me, Marshall. It's Dylan. I'm right here." "My name's Joel." "Joel?" "Joss, what are you talking about?" He took my face in his hands. "Who's Joel?" "The voice in my head, I guess." "Jesus. ↗

— Susan Bischoff

#chronicles #curfew #funny #heroes #susan

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. ↗

— Rod Serling

#both #dancing #difficult #documentary #every

As the 109th Congress continues to debate legislation that will affect the lives of immigrants, it is important for us to remember that we are a nation of immigrants. ↗

— Jose Serrano

#congress #continues #debate #immigrants #important

The jazz chord substitutions in a country song... that was another thing that bent people's ears. I guess that my favorites are the unique ones. It's not how fast you play. It's that unique blending of different stuff I'm most proud of. ↗

— Brian Setzer

#bent #blending #chord #country #different

I submit, on the other hand, most respectfully, that the Constitution not merely does not affirm that principle, but, on the contrary, altogether excludes it. ↗

— William H. Seward

#altogether #constitution #contrary #does #excludes

When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#accessible #blush #blushing #celebrity #delusional

Xander: To read makes our speaking English good. ↗

— Ashley Gable

#grammar-humor #humor #language #humor

Looks like I missed a party. Good. I wasn’t really in the mood to off demons this evening. Haven’t had my coffee yet. (Jared) You drink coffee? (Stryker) No, but it was my pathetic attempt at humor. (Jared) ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#demon-hunting #humor #humor

The main hallway of the Sternwood place was two stories high. Over the entrance doors, which would have let in a troop of Indian elephants, there was a broad stained-glass panel showing a knight in dark armor rescuing a lady who was tied to a tree and didn’t have any clothes on but some very long and convenient hair. The knight had pushed the vizor of his helmet back to be sociable, and he was fiddling with the knots on the ropes that tied the lady to the tree and not getting anywhere. I stood there and thought that if I lived in the house, I would sooner or later have to climb up there and help him. He didn’t seem to be really trying. ↗

— Raymond Chandler

#efficiency #humor #knights #propriety #rescue