#gel

You look lousy,' he said. Jace blinked. 'Seems an odd time to start an insult contest, but if you insist, I could probably think up something good.' 'No I mean it. You don't look good.' 'This is from a guy ho has all the sex appeal of a penguin. Look, I realize you may be jealous that the good Lord didn't deal you the same chiseled hand he dealt me, but that's no reason to-' 'I am not trying to insult you.' Simon snapped. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #insults #jace-lightwood #simon-lewis #humor

And now," Eric yelled into his mircophone, "we're going to sing a new song-one we just wrote. This one's for my girlfriend. We've been going out for three weeks, and, damn, our love is true. We're gonna be together forever, baby. This one's called 'Bang You Like a Drum. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#crazy #eric #funny #humor #love

His hands as he worked were deft and sure, but so gentle -- he was being careful not to hurt me any more than he had to. I sat very still, hardly daring to move. I was in love with him. The knowledge swept through me, truer than anything I'd ever known. Oh, my God, I was in love with him. ↗

— L.A. Weatherly

#love

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect. But actually - from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff. ↗

— Steven Moffat

#doctor-who #humor #inspirational #the-doctor #time-travel

The remnants of my dress hung like tentacles and from my back arched a pari of towering wings, feather-light but suggesting enourmous power. My hair streamed behind me, and I knew that the ring of light around my head would be brighter than ever. “Holy crap!” Xavier blurted ↗

— Alexandra Adornetto

#humor #humor

Of course, in Los Angeles, everything is based on driving, even the killings. In New York, most people don't have cars, so if you want to kill a person, you have to take the subway to their house. And sometimes on the way, the train is delayed and you get impatient, so you have to kill someone on the subway. That's why there are so many subway murders; no one has a car. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #killing #los-angeles #new-york-city #subways

Ik voel me vandaag beroerd. Maar laat ons om ons heen zien. Sommige mensen worden reeds bij het begin van hun leven zwaar gestraft: zij worden als vrouw geboren. ↗

— Gerard Reve

#dutch #humor #ongeluk #vrouw #humor

So. You're a fallen angel." She folded her arms. "I'm not fallen," he said roughly. "Then what are you?" He shrugged. "Busted. ↗

— Vicki Pettersson

#fallen-angels #humor #noir #humor

How many black holes have we been up close and personal with?" Kosta countered. "All sorts of odd things happen near the event horizon, from huge tidal forces to variations in time. Personally, I'm voting on it having to do with gravity, either a polarization of the fields themselves or else something related to the time differential." I didn't know physics had become a democracy," Hanan murmered. ↗

— Timothy Zahn

#humor #timothy-zahn #humor

Just tell him to keep his hands to himself and his python in his pants. ↗

— Evangeline Anderson

#humorous #romance #science-fiction-romance #humor