#h

Dark Jar Tin Zoo’s face is sallow, his cheeks sunk in, and he looks like Edvard Munch’s “The Scream,” only less colorful. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dark-jar-tin-zoo #edvard-munch #funny #humor #sallow

Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#life #humor

A brick could be duct taped in front of your eyes, like a blindfold, so you can have that feeling of hitting your head against a brick wall all the time. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as a scapegoat. But don’t blame the brick. The brick didn’t kill my mother-in-law. It was merely the instrument I utilized in showing her how much I loved her.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as a substitute for my father. I hate to admit it, but I think a brick would make a better dad than that guy I call “The Guy That Never Calls Me.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

All of those faeries and duels and mad queens and so on, and no one quoted old Billy Shakespeare. Not even once. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

A blanket could be used to keep your body warm. After all, your body starts cooling off rapidly once you die. But don’t worry, I’ll bury you someplace quiet, someplace sacred, someplace so secret the cops will never think to look there.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to let that special someone in your life know how much you love them. Instead of tossing out a careless I love you, try tossing a brick at them instead.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

The cloud cover made for a terrible blanket.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I’ll weave the waves into a sea blanket of goodbye.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny