#hee

You tell your brother he's gonna pay for that car in silver. ↗

— Neal Shusterman

#funny #revenge #werewolf #funny

I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of The Communist Manifesto. ↗

— E.L. James

#anastasia #anastasia-steele #blush #communist-manifesto #e-l-james

This quote will self-destruct in....4....3....2...1...Just kidding...Or am I? ↗

— Craig Benzine

#humor #wheezy-waiter #wheezywaiter #youtube #youtuber

...‘All this suffering,’ I said, ‘and nothing but greed and violence to build on when the war is over.’ ‘Have another soda-mint,’ said Charles. I had one. Then I said, ‘Why are we here? That’s what I don’t understand. Why be here at all when it all has to be so beastly?’ ‘I suppose we just came, like mould on cheese.’ ‘Then why do we want to be happy? Mould on cheese doesn’t want to be happy.’ ... ↗

— Joyce Dennys

#meaning-of-life #home

Burn you, Nerim, that's a leg not a bloody side of beef!' 'As my lord says,' Nerim murmured. 'My lord's leg is not a side of beef. Thank you, my lord, for instructing me. ↗

— Robert Jordan

#humor #jordan #mat #nerim #rand

Obviously it takes eight brains to come to one decision in this crowd. Good thing they have one another. ↗

— Mari Mancusi

#humor #humor

She had wailed loudly enough to wake the dead and make them call the cops. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate-daniels #humor

People will ask you the question 'how is life treating you?' But my question is 'how are you treating life?' On that your happiness rests ↗

— Rasheed Ogunlaru

#flow #happiness #happyness #inner-peace #questioning

There's a boy who they call Pony! He's always acting gross and horny! He thinks he's got a lot down there, but he sure wears tiny underwear! ↗

— Cecily von Ziegesar

#humor

While Coach Hedge was having dinner on the foredeck, a wild pegasus appeared from nowhere,stampeded over the coach’s enchiladas, and flew off again, leaving cheesy hoof prints all across the deck. “What was that for?” the coach demanded. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#coach #humor #pegasus #humor