#hi

It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said. ↗

#enter #everybody #governor #least #official

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either. ↗

— David Letterman

#approval #become #bush #does #either

The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral. ↗

— David Letterman

#big #confusing #dead #debate #funeral

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves. ↗

— David Letterman

#bush #george #george w #giving #house

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets. ↗

— David Letterman

#apology #bombed #certificate #chinese #clinton

Schizophrenia beats dining alone. ↗

— Oscar Levant

#beats #dining #schizophrenia

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel. ↗

— Oscar Levant

#hollywood #lies #phony #real #tinsel

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on. ↗

— Oscar Levant

#drink #envy #everything #i #know

It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors. ↗