#hood

Motherhood is a Sisyphean task. You finish sewing one seam shut, and another rips open. I have come to believe that this life I'm wearing will never really fit. ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#life

On the stairs he was crying so much he hardly saw where he was going - not a mad boo-hoo but wailing sheets of tears, shaken into funny groans by the bump of each step as he hurried down. ↗

— Alan Hollinghurst

#children #funny

Are you scared of going in to see the raghnaid [the council]?” asked a gray female pup. “Are you cag mag [crazy]? If a bear was his Milk Giver, you think he’s scared of the raghnaid? ↗

— Kathryn Lasky

#funny #motherhood #wolves #funny

JESSICA: My preparation for motherhood began with hiking. LUKE: And where did your preparation for hiking begin? JESSICA: In the same place as my preparation for motherhood: with the birds and the bees. And you are not mature enough to have that conversation without asking about pollination strategies or ornithological classification. ↗

— Bauvard

#hiking #humor #motherhood #funny

I looked out the window and saw the street and railroad tracks, the woods beyond. Beyond the woods, the county of which they were a part. And so on, until it all dissolved into the larger thing: my mother's house becoming every other house as I once had seen it, sitting atop the southern end of a broad river valley, close enough to the the mountains that every few years a scared black bear would wander down into the remaining forest, and close enough to the ocean that those early English settlers took it as the farthest point they'd go upstream, the geology of the place preventing them from having any choice other than the one wherein they said, "We are lost; therefore we will call this home." And close enough that as a child I had been teased by older kids who said if I only tried hard enough I would smell salt water, and I, believing, stood among the light poles and the gulls in the parking lots of A&Ps and cried when I knew that it was true despite the fact that they had meant to lie, as children sometimes do. ↗

— Kevin Powers

#truth #home

I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #writing #humor

You're some freaky shit, my brother. You really are ↗

— J.R. Ward

#brothers #humor #love #rhage #humor

There's a Drunk Midget in My House Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. Like most people who have had one baby, I am an expert on everythiing and will tell you, unsolicited, how to raise your kid! ↗

— Tina Fey

#humor #parenthood #humor

As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor #humor

God, he even knew their names. Rhage. Phury. And that scary-ass Zsadist guy. Yeah, no Tom, Dick, and Harry names for the vampire types. But come on, could you actually imagine some lethal bloodsucker named Howard? Eugene? ↗

— J.R. Ward

#dark-lover #imagination