#hr

She turned down her street once more, glaring at the garish lights someone had put up along their house. Might as well light the roof with “Santa Park Here”. Sheesh. The closer she got to home, though, the lower her heart sank. The overly bright house looked suspiciously like... No. Oh, no. He wouldn’t. He had. Light up animated animals were dotted all over her lawn. The circle of life has apparently found our power outlet. And why the fuck is there a Star of David on my roof? She wasn’t exactly the most church-going member of the community, but you’d think Simon would know what religion she was. After all, she knew exactly who was going to officiate at his funeral. She picked up her cell phone and called Emma. “I’m going to kill him. ↗

— Dana Marie Bell

#home

You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. ↗

— Anne Lamott

#fundamentalism #god #humor #idolatry #spirituality

Poison!" Grover yelped. "Don't let those things touch you or..." "Or we'll die?" I guessed. "Well...after you shrivel slowly to dust, yes." "Let's avoid the swords," I decided. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #poison #shrivel #swords #humor

What is it with you today?” says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are still swollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face. “Oh, you know,” I say. “Sun shining. Birds chirping.” She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an underground tunnel. ↗

— Veronica Roth

#humor #tris #humor

If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up. ↗

— Woody Allen

#humor #organized-religion #religion #woody-allen #humor

The key trait of a Sperm Pirate is that she is not driven by desperation. Escaping poverty or hardship is not her motive. She usually has a good education and access to the same opportunities as the man she tries to trap. However, she understands that it is more efficient to enjoy a lavish lifestyle through the sweat of another’s labour. But the Sperm Pirate is acutely aware that the infatuation of a hormonal man has a brief shelf life. This poor collateral must be cashed in before it expires. A pregnancy is the best way to convert this volatile resource into a stable asset. Babies are reliable insurance policies. They create legal obligations for financial support, even when the sweet milk of passion turns sour. ↗

— Taona Dumisani Chiveneko

#flame-lily #great-zimbabwe #hangman #mystrey #parnormal

I've learned life is a lot like surfing. When you get caught in the impact zone, you need to get right back up, because you never know what's over the next wave......and if you have faith, anything is possible, anything at all. ↗

— Soul Surfer

#christian #inspirational #soul-surfer #faith

The one who forgives never brings up the past to that person's face. When you forgive, it's like it never happened. True forgiveness is complete and total. ↗

— Louis Zamperini

#forgiveness #forgives #god #jesus #wwii

Be passionate about what you write, believe in your ability to convey timeless ideas, and let no one tell you what what you're capable of. ↗

— Christina Westover

#books #censorship #christina-westover #freedom-of-the-press #passion

The love of Christ always helps us see beyond the faults of others. ↗

— Victor Manuel Rivera

#freedom #leadership #freedom