#hum

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. ↗

— George Burns

#humor

No one is normal. Everyone is just pretending to be normal. ↗

— Alessandra Torre

#humorous-quotes #reality #humor

King Shrewd is expecting me, rather he isn't expecting me, and that is precisely why I must go to him now. ↗

— Robin Hobb

#humor #meeting #humor

Sitting in cold wet britches for an hour was no fun even in a magic kingdom. ↗

— Katherine Paterson

#juvies #humor

Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#wit #humor

Holmes, I'm a 24 year old prude. ↗

— Laurie R. King

#humor

Old as carbon," Nix agreed. "And so powerful I'm working on my demigoddess badges. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#humor

Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night. ↗

— Scott Adams

#humor #humor

Because we don't really sparkle. ↗

— John G. Hartness

#sarcasm #vampires #humor

I'm good for some things, bad for a lot of things. ↗

— Jackie Chan

#inspirational #humor