#hum

Curse you, cheap beer. Must find miso in tiny packet. ↗

— MCM

#hangover #humor #malediction #humor

I want to take ye to bed. In my bed. And I mean to spend the rest of the day thinking what to do wit ye once I got ye there. So wee Archie can just go and play at marbles with his bollucks, aye? ↗

— Diana Gabaldon

#love #romance #humor

Don't Blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't Blink. Good Luck. ↗

— Doctor Who

#humor

Paranoia is just a heightened state of awareness. I didn't say it, but I repeat it often enough. ↗

— Gerald Everett Jones

#humor #humor

You can argue with God, you just cant win. ↗

— Lizzy

#humor #humor

I should think he must be rather a dressy man for his time of life. Such a number of looking-glasses! Oh Lord! There is not getting away from one's self ↗

— Jane Austen

#mirrors #humor

The pants come down. Most look shamefaced, but tha Arthur McBride is not the least bit shy about showing off his equipment, oh no, he isn't. He grins in my direction. 'Not all that impressive, boyo ↗

— L.A. Meyer

#humor #humor

Joke exchanges are carried on in deadly earnest, like a verbal duel-mouth-to-mouth combat. Bang, bang: you’re (linguistically) dead. ↗

— David Crystal

#jokes #language-play #humor

The point of living and of being an optimist, is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come ↗

— Peter Ustinov

#humor

Conscience is like a pet: If you spoil it by too much attention it'll start yipping at the most inopportune times. ↗

— Connie Brockway

#conscience #humor #humor