#hum

There were events that stuck in my mind. One, for example, was the case of the missing palace seal at the beginning of winter.’ ‘Oh the poor animal,’ she cried out, ‘they’re such beautiful creatures.’ ‘I’m speaking of the royal seal placed on correspondence, as you would know,’ he said. ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#beauty

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but whoever looks at it when it has been in the house three days? ↗

— William Shakespeare

#beauty

He looked at the beautiful woman frowning up at him and his cock did nothing. His eyes shot back to Zoe and damn if his cock didn't twitch happily. Trevor swallowed hard as realization hit. There was something wrong with his dick. ↗

— R.L. Mathewson

#romance #beauty

A sand trap is like a politician in its duality. It represents two opposing viewpoints. You see, it was designed to trap your ball. So it exists to have balls land in it. But it was also designed to be avoided. So it also exists to not have balls land in it. This is the beauty of golf. The game of golf is a Zen koan in action.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#golf #humor #koan #philosophy #zen

To die famous is the goal of the immortal. To die young is the goal of the healthy. To die memorably is the goal of the survivor. ↗

— Bauvard

#death #funny #humor #death

Mia: I was sixteen when I first realized my mom was more concerned about my appearance than I was… I’ll be talking to my mom and realize she hasn’t heard a word because she’s studying my face to see if the foundation I’m using is a good match for my skin tone. ↗

— Mia Fontaine

#daughter #humor #makeup #mother #beauty

Ash has a huge customized Barbie collection. Aside from Horror Movie Barbie (head lopped halfway off, torn and bloody clothes), Commando Barbie (camouflage bandana, pistol-whipping Ken with toy guns stolen from Josh), there is my personal favorite, Fat Barbie (dressed in a muumuu, sporting extra body girth and a double chin, thanks to the discreet placement of Silly Putty), I think Fat Barbie is genius but Nancy flipped out when she saw her. Our mother, whose statuesque blond Minnesouda beauty makes her look like a Barbie, is a size four on her bloated days. ↗

— Rachel Cohn

#beauty

You mightn't think it, but Sloppy is a beautiful reader of a newspaper. He do the Police in different voices' The visitors again considered it a point of politeness to look at Sloppy, who, looking at them, suddenly threw back his head, extended his moth to the utmost width, and laughed loud and long. At this the two innocents, with their brains in that apparent danger, laughed, and Mrs. Higden laughed, and the orphan laughed, and then the visitors laughed. Which was more cheerful than intelligible. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#beauty

The beauty of the ultrasound scan is something that only parents can appreciate, but Emma had seen these things before and knew what was required of her. ‘Beautiful,’ she sighed, though in truth it could have been a Polaroid of the inside of his pocket. ↗

— David Nicholls

#beauty

Marcone's scum, but he's his own scum" -Harry Dresden ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor