#hum

I wish you would be more true to your demographic profile. Life is confusing enough. ↗

— Tony Kushner

#life #humor

Carbohydrates from the Latin, carbo which means "yummy" and hydrates which means "cinnamon bun," are not something I can eliminate or even drastically cut back on. ↗

— Celia Rivenbark

#humor #yummy #humor

Now go to bed, you crazy night owl! You have to be at NASA early in the morning. So they can look for your penis with the Hubble telescope. ↗

— Tina Fey

#nasa #penis #humor

Oh, the boots were on the other eight feet now. ↗

— Jonathan Stroud

#bartimaeus #bartimaeus-trilogy #humor #humor

Didn't anyone tell you that size doesn't matter?" "Yes, but I told him to put his pants back on and go home. ↗

— Christine Warren

#humorous #humor

He was like an undead boomerang. A zomberang. ↗

— Devon Monk

#humor

I still doubt it will work." "You'd doubt the sun's rising if you weren't proven wrong each day," Raoden said with a smile. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

Pantycount for the evening is: 10 thongs, 2 boy shorts, 3 bikini briefs, 1 pair boxer shorts (represent!). There’s also something we can’t identify which may or may not be some type of bondage gear. You guys are awesome. ↗

— Ashlyn Kane

#humor

She was eager to stoop to his level. ↗

— Anne Taintor

#humor

One just had to admire his deluded self-confidence. ↗

— Anne Taintor

#humor