#hum

Where did you get that candy again?" Leven asked, worried. "The pile said 'flavored'," Clover answered back, his face a chocolatey mess. "Flavored?" Leven said exasperated. "Are you sure?" "Yes," Clover argued. "F-l-a-w-e-d--flavored. ↗

— Obert Skye

#humor #humor

I want to fly! I want to touch the sun!" "Finish your eggs first. ↗

— Lorraine Hansberry

#humor #inspirational #humor

I hop onto the stage and joke-sing: 'The Phaaaanntom of the Opera is there, innnnnside your mind.' I attack the curtain with a flourish and sing on, 'Innnnside your mind. ↗

— Anne Eliot

#gray #humor #phantom-of-the-opera #humor

In a moment of panic, he reached back and grasped the large punch bowl, still three quarters full of bright red juice and an assortment of fruit slices. He lifted it above his head and threatened the growing crowd. "Stand back," he said. "I will splash you all. ↗

— Christopher Meades

#humor

He is taming chipmunks.” – Cara ↗

— Terry Goodkind

#humor #humor

My momma always said, 'You and Elvis are pretty good, but y'all ain't no Chuck Berry. ↗

— Jerry Lee Lewis

#humor

Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#humor

...Jim finished his beer and wondered how in the hell he'd found himself in the role of Cupid. Man, if those four lads even thought about getting him to wear the wings and a diaper while he nocked his arrow, he was so renegotiating his employee contract. And not with words. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor

I'm very much afraid I didn't mean anything but nonsense. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#humour #reality #humor

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson ↗

— Matt Groening

#homer-simpson #humor #matt-groening #simpons #humor