#hum

I'm infatuated with you, I cannot deny it. Physically speaking, you're a very attractive man. But I don't like you, the vast majority of the time. So far as I can gather, you behave abominably in public and are only marginally better in private. I only find you remotely tolerable when you're kissing me. ↗

— Tessa Dare

#romance #humor

Since you and Crispin are now finished and I have a few hours to kill, how about that shag?” he asked with heavy irony. “Bite me,” I sighed, gathering up the pages. He winked. “Of course. My second-favorite thing to do in bed. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#humor #ian #humor

If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#ranger #romance #humor

Part of the appeal of the fantastic is taking ridiculous ideas very seriously and pretending they're not absurd. ↗

— China Miéville

#humor #writing #humor

I don't believe in faeries! ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

When an evil masochist dies, does he go to hell, or would heaven be a better punishment? ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

Before I leave the bathroom, I pinch my cheeks hard to bring blood to the surface of my skin. It’s stupid, but I don’t want to look weak and exhausted in front of everyone. When I walk back into Tobias’s room, Uriah is sprawled across the bed facedown; Christina is holding the blue sculpture above Tobias’s desk, examining it; and Lynn is poised above Uriah with a pillow, a wicked grin creeping across her face. Lynn smacks Uriah hard in the back of the head, Christina says, “Hey Tris!” and Uriah cries, “Ow! How on earth do you make a pillow hurt, Lynn?” “My exceptional strength,” she says. “Did you get smacked, Tris? One of your cheeks is bright red.” I must not have pinched the other one hard enough. “No, it’s just … my morning glow. ↗

— Veronica Roth

#humor #lynn #tris #uriah #humor

Oh, this is going to be fun; he actually thinks he's teaching me something. ↗

— J.A. Redmerski

#sexy #humor

I happen to be immature, undisciplined, and self-centered, pretty much a little boy in a man's body, although I'd appreciate it if you didn't quote me on that. -Bobby Tom ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#men #humor

She was not sorry. And if it was the wine telling her that, then she would tell the wine the same thing tomorrow. She was not sorry. ↗

— Mary Balogh

#mary-balogh #romance #slightly #wicked #humor