#hum

I couldn't take much more of this. Being the object two men competed for wasn't as glamorous as it sounded in the movies. The two men who both wanted one hundred percent of my time weren't dashing, international playboys. They were undead and surprisingly immature, considering the youngest was just over a hundred years old. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#love-triangle #men-and-women #relationships #humor

The first time I came to Deadwood, I got shot in the ass." -Violet Parker ↗

— Ann Charles

#humor

I've been diagnosed as being bi-polar but so have Florence Nightingale and King David...which kinda leaves me in pretty dam good company...if I must say so. ↗

— Timothy Pina

#humor

I take back everything I ever said about that boy being clever." He turned around to face the bar while leveling an accusatory finger at the closed door. "That," he said firmly to the room in general, "is what comes of working with iron every day. ↗

— Patrick Rothfuss

#humor

Callipygian: Having shapely buttocks. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#humor #humor

I'm not sure I would label it a 'survivor,'" said Iko, her sensor darkening with disgust. "It looks more like a rotting pumpkin. ↗

— Marissa Meyer

#humor

Better watch out said a second voice from somewhere under the Beetle. Don't park those two kraut cars too close together; it's springtime, and they might decide to mate. then Charlie'll be stuck with a garage full of little orange safety cones ↗

— Mercedes Lackey

#humor

You can’t has,' he whispered softly, 'not yours. ↗

— Wil Wheaton

#fantasy #geekery #humor #humor

You are out of your freaking skull! Maybe, but is that relevant? ↗

— Shannon McKenna

#humor

...looking angrily at the wombat: and a moment later, 'Come now, Stephen, this is coming it pretty high: your brute is eating my hat.' 'So he is, too,' said Dr. Maturin. 'But do not be perturbed, Jack; it will do him no harm, at all. His digestive processes-- ↗

— Patrick O'Brian

#humor #wombat #humor