#hum

I did not tell Fat this, but technically he had become a Buddha. It did not seem to me like a good idea to let him know. After all, if you are a Buddha you should be able to figure it out for yourself. ↗

— Philip K. Dick

#humor #self-awareness #spirituality #humor

We have souls. Sure we do. Otherwise we'd do bad things all the time. You know, like politicians. ↗

— MaryJanice Davidson

#humor

The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #humor

I pray. I go to mass. I even remember to respect my elders and help little old ladies across the street. What the hell did I do to deserve this? ↗

— Lora Leigh

#humor #humor

And I was fairly certain that my strong-enough-for-King-Kong-but-made-for-a-woman deodorant had utterly failed. --Doom with a View ↗

— Victoria Laurie

#humor #psychic-eye #women #humor

Germs contagious, contagious alert! But Edwart and Purell are stronger than dirt! ↗

— The Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #twilight #humor

But unfriendly is usually one of those things you pick up on right away. You know, like B.O. There's no hiding it if it's there. ↗

— Sarah Dessen

#lock-and-key #nate-cross #sarah-dessen #humor

I was born. It was easy. My mother did all the hard work. ↗

— Katie MacAlister

#humor #macalister #humor

I haven't devoured a soul in...What month is this? March? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

She raised an eyebrow. "I thought I sensed something oddly human about you. From the moment I though it was simply residue from your recent and ill-advised horizontal romp with that girl" "What makes you think we were horizontal?" Darrack's lip twitched ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#humor