#hum

Sometimes I think I'm an alien that accidentally fell off the mother ship, destined to wander among clueless earthling parents for all eternity. ↗

— Sarah Ockler

#teen #humor

She shook her head as she confessed, "I want it so much, I'm afraid to hope." "Never be afraid to hope," Rohan said gently. "It's the only way to begin." -Rohan to Win ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#romance #humor

WHAT! WE CANT TALK AT THE SAME TIME! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk, WE CAN'T DO IT! Peanut. WHAT! You said my name wrong. No it's Jeff Dun-ham. No it's dunham, No dun-ham. No dunha. No you see it says dunham jeff dun-HAM. Actually if you look at it, it say jef f dunham .com ↗

— Jeff Dunham

#humor

Narcissus turned and scowled at Leo. “Who are you?” “I’m the Super-sized McShizzle, man!” Leo said. “I’m Leo Valdez, bad boy supreme. And the ladies love a bad boy. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

In my mind, I'm probably the biggest sex maniac you ever saw. ↗

— J.D. Salinger

#humor

You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#humor

I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#humor #religion #humor

And make no mistake, my friend, your pointless life will end; but before you go, can you look at the truth? ↗