#hum

he shrugged. "occupational hazard of being a research assistant to a total dick". ↗

— Sylvain Reynard

#humor

Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#humor

A hero without faults is like an omelet without little bits of eggshell in it. ↗

— Colin Cotterill

#heroes #humor #personality #real-life #humor

There’s very little that I find to be more interesting and unpredictable than the behavior of a psychotic bitch, especially when it’s directed towards some other poor soul. ↗

— Aaron B. Powell

#humor

Sophie was a walking truth serum. If she was touching bare skin, she could yank the truth out of you like a loose tooth. I’d spent several unpleasant hours in her company during the Council’s screening process for humans who planned to work with vampires. That’s when I learned that you don’t refer to Buffy, the Winchesters, or even the Frog Brothers from The Lost Boys in front of Council officials. They do not have a sense of humor about that sort of entertainment. ↗

— Molly Harper

#supernatural #the-lost-boys #humor

I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget ↗

— Jeff Kinney

#humor #reality #truth #humor

Nowadays the standards had plummeted so far that I failed even at being a failure. I silently packed up. Nothing else was left. They had even robbed me of self-pity ↗

— Arthur Nersesian

#humor #pathos #standards #young-people #humor

If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#work #humor

S...For Stupendous! T...For Tiger, ferocity of! U...For Underwear, Red! P...For Power, Incredible! E...For excellent physique! N...For...Um...Something..Hm, well, I'll come back to that... D...For Determination! U...For...Wait, How do you spell this? Is it "I"?? ↗

— Bill Watterson

#super-heroes #humor

You and your name dropping he said, I knew Michael, I knew Sammael. The angel Gabriel did my hair. Its like I'm with the band with biblical figures. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor