#hum

�Don'�t worry."� Arriane stood next to Luce. �This place is like a reject revolving door. People come and go all the time because of some parole issue crazy parents whatever. Randy'�s off tonight. No one else gives a damn. If anyone gives you a second look� just give �em a third one. Or send them over to me.�" She made a fist. ↗

— Lauren Kate

#humor #swords-cross #humor

I never learn. Like a waitress will bring my meal. “Hey, enjoy your meal.” “You, too. But you don’t have one, do ya? I’m a dufus. If you do eat enjoy it when you eat it if you have a break or something, later. If you get an opportunity.” That’s all I’m trying to say. ↗

— Brian Regan

#humor

With no reason to hide these words I feel, and no reason to talk about the books I read, but still, I do. ↗

— Morrissey

#humor #life #lyrics #music #humor

Leigh did what any sane female faced with such an e-mail would do: deleted it to resist the temptation of replying, cleared her trash to resist the temptation of recalling it, and then called tech support to restore all her recently deleted e-mails. (Chasing Harry Winston) ↗

— Lauren Weisberger

#truth #humor

Because you wear a uniform, a smelly uniform...and so you think you can be rude to me. ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

I guess we're even,Sadie.First,Walt and I rushed off to save you in London.Then,you and Walt rushed off to save me.The only one who got shafted on both deals was Walt.Poor guy gets hauled all over the world pulling us out of trouble ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

We're like America's little pit bull. They beat it, starve it, mistreat it, and once in a while they let it out to attack somebody. ↗

— Evan Wright

#military #humor

I can only make one person happy each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good, either. —Frank the 70 year old secretary, chapter 9 ↗

— Philip Gulley

#humor

You almost died, you little shit. ↗

— Thea Harrison

#humor

Humor was the enemy of desire. ↗