#hum

Look, Sage. I don't know much about chemistry or computer hacking or photosynthery, but this is something I've got a lot of experience with." I think he mean photosynthesis, but I didn't correct him. "Use my knowledge. Don't let it go to waste. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #smart #sydney-sage #experience

If the Angels won, the entire Earth would be nothing but one giant Christmas frickin' morning, a choking wave of happiness and warmth and caring and sharing taking over everything. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor

You'll have to excuse Zo's manners. She was raised by a group of indigenous swamp wallabies and is at times uncomfortable conversing with civilized humans." "Look, it's like this-" Zo started to say, but then she interrupted herself. "Swamp wallabies? ↗

— Jennifer Lynn Barnes

#joke #tattoo #humor

A karaoke bar?" Mitch glared at him. "You dragged us to a karaoke bar?" "She didn't tell me it was karaoke." "You know it's bad enough having to listen to you guys howl all the time. But this...this may be asking too much. Dogs. Singing." Mitch turned to the bar and lashed Smitty with another glare. "And no goddamn liquor. You know, as per shifter law, I could legally kill you. ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#mitch #smitty #humor

Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks? ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#butler #eoin-colfer #humor #humor

...it has been well said that it is precisely these moments when we are feeling that ours is the world and everything that's in it that Fate selects for sneaking up on us with the rock in the stocking. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor

When one thing takes another away, what do we call that?” she asked my class. “Homicide!” I called out ↗

— Chris Colfer

#humor

A conclusion is the place you get to when you’re tired of thinking. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#thinking #humor

It was all I could do to not knock him down right there in front of Asher and climb on him. If I stunned him with a frying pan first, he might not struggle too much.… ↗

— Cate Tiernan

#humor

Runny's Nicpic One day Runny Babbit Met little Franny Fog. He said, "Let's have a nicpic Down by the lollow hog." He brought some cutter bookies, Some teanuts and some pea. And what did Franny Fog bring? Her whole fog framily. ↗

— Shel Silverstein

#humor