#hum

The only thing most people do better than anyone else is read their own handwriting. ↗

— John Adams

#penmanship #specialists #humor

You take the flotsam," I tell her, "I'll take the jetsam." You always get the jetsam,"she says pretending to pout. "Do you ever think if poeple heard our conversations they'd lock us up?" All the time. ↗

— Wendy Mass

#humor

Sarcasm, as it turned out--even when it was instinctive and quick--cut into the time one had to manufacture one's escape. ↗

— Mel Odom

#humor #humor

Are you making fun of my hero complex?' Yeah. ↗

— Linda Howard

#jaine #sam #humor

Watch out for the icy patch ↗

— Jim Henson

#humor

Let the doors be shut upon him, that he may play the fool no where but in's own house. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#insult #humor

I sometimes wonder if my last words on this earth will be something like, 'Oh, I knew this wouldn't work. ↗

— Quinn Cummings

#quinn-cummings #humor

Glasses are for people that sips instead of drinks. ↗

— Kai Starr

#drinking #humor #humor

Die human, DIE!! Die nasty polluting person!!!!' yelled Grover. I turned him so he faced me. He kept on clicking his plastic gun towards me as if I was part of the game. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

If anyone wanted ter find out some stuff, all they’d have ter do would be ter follow the spiders. That’d lead ‘em right! That’s all I’m sayin’. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humorous-quotations #spiders #humor