#hum

If you're late to the rescue, the imprisoned princess will just have to escape on her own! ↗

— Kyo Shirodaira

#princess #humor

Women talk when they want to. Or don't. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#truth #humor

- I USHERED SOULS INTO THE NEXT WORLD. I WAS THE GRAVE OF ALL HOPE. I WAS THE ULTIMATE REALITY. I WAS THE ASSASSIN AGAINST WHOM NO LOCK WOULD HOLD. - "Yes, point taken, but do you have any particular skills? ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor

Can I help you?" said the footman. Richard had been told to fuck off and die with more warmth and good humor. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor

Maybe I didn't try as hard as I ought when he started calling you names. Serves him right, the nasty old turd. Punch him again, Moth" - Peaseblossom ↗

— Lisa Mantchev

#fairies #humor #humor

Cricket Bell.” I smiled into my phone. “How did you get so wise? ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#wisdom #humor

My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot, ... So we said, `Let's give him a promotion. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#humor

Here have a drink' i lifted the goblet, and Stevie Rae took a big gulp. I frowned a little at her. 'what?' she whispered. 'Erik's yummy. ↗

— Kristin Cast and P.C. Cast

#stevie-rae-johnson #zoey-redbird #humor

I'm a big believer in first impressions," he finally said. "Tell me what your first thought was when Jason walked into the courtroom." Taylor took a sip of her drink and grinned. This one was easy. "I vowed to hate him forever." Jeremy's brown eyes twinkled at this. "That's exactly what I said nineteen years ago, five minutes after he first walked into our dorm room. ↗

— Julie James

#humor #romance #humor

I was in America, someone wanted a photo with me, I put my arm around her and she told me not to touch her. ↗

— Rupert Grint

#humor