#hum

If you stopped tellin' people it's all sorted out after they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

I'm looking for a man" Bree started. "Aren't we all, dear? All I got's bread and doughnuts, but they're the next best thing" "I don't know about that .. well maybe doughnuts. I've lost my .. friend. He's tall-sixfour-longish dark hair, wearing a kilt" "Oh him" She smacked a hand over her heart "I'd take him over doughnuts any day ↗

— Anita Clenney

#paranormal-romance #humor

He'd asked me to marry him. He'd kissed me. Twice. He said he loved me. What a scum, rat, dog bastard. I wouldn't sleep with him now if I was dying and the only thing that could save me was a penis injection from him. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#humor

Okay, don't get mad." She pulled out my stake --- or at least something that looked like my stake,only the hilt of it was now covered in bright blue crystals and diamond-like gems. "You Bedazzled my stake?" "Um ... Surprise," April said, "Just because you're hunting nasty stuff doesn't mean you can't do it in style. ↗

— Bree Despain

#grace #humor #inspirtation-ya #humor

Women need a reason to have sex; men need only a place. ↗

— Nelson DeMille

#humor

Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humor #death

My family's big on denial. And if we denied something long enough, we thought it'd go away. I know that's not how it works, but we're in denial about that, too. ↗

— Lisa Shearin

#family

...it woke me up, got me focused back on my current tasks: find Libby, save Libby, find James, kiss James, maul James, press James for details on Stiles, find Stiles, fight Stiles, find Morgan, find his bride, make them fall in love, make Naomi understand, make Libby normal again, kiss James again, eat a few prices of fruit. Total order. ↗

— Beth Bloom

#humor #run-on-sentence #run-on-sentence-award #funny

I can only think of music as something inherent in every human being - a birthright. Music coordinates mind, body and spirit. ↗

— Yehudi Menuhin

#birthright #body #coordinates #every #human

The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little. ↗

— Thomas Merton

#human #little #settle #temptation #too