#hum

Don't criticize me while I criticize other people. ↗

— Stephen Proskauer

#humor #humor

Cute? I think my testosterone level just dropped - Ranger ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#ranger #humor

When smart people are nice, it's always terrifying, because I know they're taking in everything and thinking all kinds of smart and potentially judgmental things. ↗

— Mindy Kaling

#humor

I’m not going,” he said. He held up the Third key like a weapon. Sensing his mood, it grew longer and sharper, till he was holding a trident as long as he was tall... “And anyone who tries to make me is going to suffer.” “Twice,” added the voice under the table. ↗

— Garth Nix

#humor #young-adult #humor

For thirty minutes I sat back and felt the glimmer of pride that historically precedes the most catastrophic falls. ↗

— Antony John

#humor #pride #humor

There's more than one way to skin a cat, my father used to say; it bothered me, I didn't see why they would want to skin a cat even one way. ↗

— Margaret Atwood

#humor #method #wisdom #humor

You spit in this?" "Yup." Chris shrugged. "As long as you're honest. ↗

— R.L. Mathewson

#humor

You make me sound like an arrogant ass," he said. "Are you?" "No! I'm just me. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#dragon #funny #humor #funny

In a low whisper she was certain only her friend could hear, she said, "I specifically remember we both promised never to drink from any man's goblet of wine. From the looks of you, Frances Catherine, I'm thinking you broke your word. ↗

— Julie Garwood

#humor

When there's a monster under your bed sometimes it really is best not to look. ↗

— Jocelynn Drake

#asylum-tales #humor #ignorance #philosophical #thoughts