#hum

I don't see how being married could be any worse than listening to you talk for twenty years, but that still ain't much of a recommendation for it. ↗

— Larry McMurtry

#humor

Will you accompany me in this dance?” he said, bowing and holding out his hand. “No, thank you.” Miri smiled. The prince frowned and looked and the chief delegate as if for assistance. Miri laughed self consciously. “I, uh, I was teasing. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#fantasy #humor #romance #humor

Now, I want you to look at each other. Really look. And then I'd like you to each say something positive about the other person." "Now Todd, you go first." Todd eye balled me up and down."She appears to have all her teeth". "OOh, good one,Todd," I cooed,then turned to maggie and smiled sweetly. " And Todd smells very little like a pile of goat crap. ↗

— Kristin Walker

#humor

Je ne give a damn pas about le français, Les filles en France ne wear pas les pantelons ↗

— John Knowles

#humor

Affectations can be dangerous. ↗

— Gertrude Stein

#humor

I picture my epitaph: 'Here lies Paul Newman, who died a failure because his eyes turned brown. ↗

— Paul Newman

#humor

I had Eondel teach me," Raoden said. "Back when I was trying to find ways to prove that my father's laws were foolish. Eondel chose fencing becausehe thought it would be most useful to me, as a politician. I never figured I'd end up using it to keep my wife from slicing me to pieces. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

I’ll be real discreet,” Tank said. As discreet as a six-foot-six, no-neck guy weighing three hundred and fifty pounds, all dressed in black SWAT clothes, with a Glock holstered at his side could be. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor

And Nedley started saying,'Shut Up!Quit that! And i knew it really meant something to him. So I asked for his help,"Mark said. "Don't tell the story like that," Nedley laughed. "What he said was 'Quit pretendin you're a bad guy I need your help, and I need it now! ↗

— Margaret Peterson Haddix

#humor #humor

The cartoon me writes the books cartoon people read in the cartoon world, because they need things to read there too. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#gaiman #humor #neil #humor