#hum

Stop it. This is me, remember? We've been thrown up by the same puppies. - Ossin ↗

— Robin McKinley

#puppies #humor

Love goes together with acceptance ↗

— Dillis Tembo

#humor

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. ↗

— Shepherd Mead

#humor

In the land of sour grapes, the half-eaten apple is the queen ↗

— Katerina Stoykova Klemer

#parody #humor

They think that they’re smart and that the rest of us are dumb. ↗

— Joseph Heller

#humor

And LO and BEHOLD, I was on BOTH the six AND eleven o’clock newscasts! AND all the commercials, as well! (‘Day of the drag queen at one area high school, controversy at six!’) And it must have been a slow night because I was the SECOND PIECE of the night! The granny suicide bomber got the lead. BITCH! But I managed to beat out the president’s pulled groin and day six of the Jessica Simpson chapped-lip crisis! ↗

— James St. James

#humor

...we sang in church "Tata Nzolo"! Which means Father in Heaven or Father of Fish Bait depending on just how you sing it, and that pretty well summed up my quandry. ↗

— Barbara Kingsolver

#humor

Free enterprise runs on self interest. This is socialism and it runs on loyalty . . . if people were going to live by comparison shopping, the town would go bust . . . If you live there you have to take it as a whole. That's loyalty. ↗

— Garrison Keillor

#humor

We have rules One-Ear." The man smiled faintly at Mrs. Francis. "Ladies are not to be hacked apart with swords. It reflects badly on pirates in general and on our outfit in particular. ↗

— Seán Cullen

#manners #humor

Many bad things were done under the Evil Empire" she said. "The best we can do now is undo them. Will you assist in this endeavor?" "In every way that I can" said Nutt. "I would like you to teach them civilized behavior," said Ladyship coldly. He appeared to consider this. "Yes, of course, I think, that would be quite possible," he said. "And who would you send to teach the humans?" There was a brief outburst of laughter from Vetinari, who immediately cupped his hand over his mouth. "Oh I do beg your pardon," he said. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #orcs #humor