#hum

Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor

We have our own language. Christianese... We don't say 'He's out of his mind,' no, we say 'That's our youth pastor. ↗

— Tim Hawkins

#humor #language #humor

It might not look it but rocking in a corset is harder than you think ↗

— Evanescence

#humor

It'll be messy, but after a day you'll be zipping around as though you were a thousand years old again. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor

Can't we be friends?' I hate your guts, Frankovitch' Can't our guts be friends? ↗

— Barbara Park

#humor

Gazzy sniffed the air. "That's explosives. It smells like Christmas!" Okay, so we've had somewhat untraditional Christmases. With explosives. ↗

— James Patterson

#humor

People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time'. You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works. ↗

— Hannibal Buress

#laugh #humor

You can't judge a book by it's cover but you can sure sell a bunch of books if you have a good one. ↗

— Jayce O'Neal

#drjayce #humor #jayce #jayceoneal #publishing

I like people too much or not at all. ↗

— Sylvia Plath

#humor

Hindi naman porke’t may hiwa at dyoga ay okay na. Titigas na. Hindi naman DPWH ang kargada ko na “Basta may lubak, tambak. Basta may butas, pasak. ↗

— Eros S. Atalia

#humor