#hum

I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor

Most men don't seem to get that telling a pissed-off woman to calm down is like throwing gunpowder on a fire.” ~ Liberty Jones ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#pissed-off #sugar-daddy #humor

Succotash my cocker spaniel, you fudging crevasse-hole dipshiitake! ↗

— Jonathan Safran Foer

#humor

It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot. ↗

— George Carlin

#life #too-hip-for-the-room #humor

There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and foget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity. ↗

— Anne Frank

#humor

Everything here is edible; even I'm edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. ↗

— Johnny Depp

#humor

Gabi to Marcus "I can't believe out of one hundred thousand sperm, you were the fastest! ↗

— Cherise Sinclair

#reproduction #humor

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#humor

That's it, cupcake. You're going down. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #trash-talk #humor

Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#true #humor