#hum

I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said, Harry. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tyson pounding the Earthborn into the ground like a game of whack-a-mole. Ella was fluttering above him, dodging missiles and calling out advice: "The groin. The Earthborn's groin is sensitive." SMASH! "Good. Yes. Tyson found its groin. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#groin #humor #son-of-neptune #tyson #humor

Why did he have to be so gorgeous? Why did he have to stand so close, and why did I still love him so much? ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#love #vampire #humor

Tasers are a one-size-fits-all paranormal butt-kicking option. Mine’s pink with rhinestones. ↗

— Kiersten White

#humor #humor

Maybe you'll win when hell freezes over." He raised an eyebrow. "That could be easily arranged. ↗

— Aimee Carter

#humor

Popularity's a weird thing. You can't really define it, and it's not cool to talk about, but you know it when you see it. Like a lazy eye, or porn. ↗

— Lauren Oliver

#humor

Stairs," Valkyrie said, disappointed. "Not just ordinary stairs," Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. "Magic stairs." "Really?" "Oh, yes." She followed him into the darkness. "How are they magic?" "They just are." "In what way?" "In a magicky way." She glared at the back of his head. "They aren't magic at all, are they?" "Not really. ↗

— Derek Landy

#derek-landy #funny #humor #magic #skulduggery-pleasant

When someone tells you somebody’s been murdered, laughing is probably not the best response. You know, for future reference. But laughing is exactly what I did. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor

I died. I died and someone made a clerical error and I am in Heaven. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

He's around the twist,' said Azalea. 'Breaking all the windows? He's mad.' 'Ah, no,' said the King. 'It's only madness if you actually do it. If you want to break all the windows in the house and drown yourself in a bucket but don't actually do it, well, that's love. ↗

— Heather Dixon

#love #humor