#hum

Life sucks, then you die. Then it sucks again. ↗

— Tonya Hurley

#life #humor

My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#humor

Anything was better than nothing. Half-full was better than empty. Ignorance was the lowest form of humiliation and suffering. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#ignorance #life #reality #suffering #life

We are all ordinary. We are all boring. We are all spectacular. We are all shy. We are all bold. We are all heroes. We are all helpless. It just depends on the day. ↗

— Brad Meltzer

#humanity #life #life

Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. 'Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on. 'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?' 'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat. 'I don't much care where—' said Alice. 'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. '—so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation. 'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long enough. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#humor #life #humor

Then there were the shabti, magical figurines that were supposed to come to life when summoned. A few months ago, I’d fallen for a girl named Zia Rashid, who’d turned out to be a shabti. Falling in love for the first time had been hard enough. But when the girl you like turns out to be ceramic and cracks to pieces before your eyes—well, it gives “breaking your heart” a new meaning. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire. ↗

— Thomas Keneally

#life #life

Actors are so fortunate. They can choose whether they will appear in tragedy or in comedy, whether they will suffer or make merry, laugh or shed tears. But in real life it is different. Most men and women are forced to perform parts for which they have no qualifications. Our Guildensterns play Hamlet for us, and our Hamlets have to jest like Prince Hal. The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#satire #shakespeare #humor

My next breath may very well be in your lungs. Store it wisely, because my life depends on it.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#breath #future #humor #life #lungs

Try patting them on the back or shoulder and telling them everything is going to be fine. Lots of times when girls cry, they don't want you to fix the problem, they just want to be consoled. ↗

— Kiera Cass

#humour #life #life