#hum

I've never understood why people said 'in your own words.' Who else's words would I use? ↗

— Richard Paul Evans

#humor

He talks pretty big for a gutter wizard," he muttered. "You don't understand at all," said the wizard wearily. "I'm so scared of you my spine has turned to jelly, it's just that I'm suffering from an overdose of terror right now. I mean, when I've got over that then I'll have time to be decently frightened of you. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#fright #humor #rincewind #humor

I got over shy a really long time ago. I'm queer, I'm feline, get used to it. ↗

— Andrea Speed

#humor #humor

It's important to have your private enjoyments because sometimes that's all we have. ↗

— Kay Ryan

#poetry #humor

My sweat smells like peanut-butter. ↗

— Wendy Mass

#inspirational #humor

My mother had been slicing up the chicken. She took a drumstick and dropped it on the floor. She kicked it around a little, picked it up and put it on the edge of the plate. "There," she said, "we'll give him this drumstick." "Deal. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephanie-plum #humor

Woman! Come out! I have—" She looked down at the bloodless grass, embarrassed. "I have come to rescue you," she finally said, as if admitting that she were covered in boils. ↗

— Catherynne M. Valente

#rescuing #witches #humor

But first, I want the pleasure of telling you that you are fired. I fire you. I fire you and all your relatives. I fire your ancestors and your descendants. I fire the very air you breathe and the ground you walk upon. ↗

— Z.A. Maxfield

#humor

There are levels of humor. The level above mine is invisible and inaudible. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#inaudible #invisible #levels #humor

Oh, please," I rolled my eyes, "You're a leftie, Barrons." "Touche, Ms. Lane," he murmured. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#innuendo #humor