#hum

Kill all the prisoners, because they’re costing us too much money. Wait! No, kill all the politicians, because they’re spending too much money. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#kill #money #politicians #politics #prisoners

NO MATTER. TRY AGAIN. FAIL AGAIN. FAIL BETTER. ↗

— Samuel Beckett

#humor

An idiotic vitch like you Must rrroast upon the barbecue! ↗

— Roald Dahl

#humor

If he is smart, he will run. He is not. ↗

— R.L. LaFevers

#humor

Stay away from that guy. He looks like a career criminal. ↗

— Holly Hood

#life #humor

There just aren't enough o's in the word smooth for me, are there? ↗

— Lani Diane Rich

#humor

My husband is not the secretary of state, I am. ↗

— Hillary Rodham Clinton

#humor #humor

Obviously somebody had been appallingly incompetent and he hoped to God it wasn't him. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#incompetence #mr-prosser #humor

My queendom for a coffee! ↗

— Chris Lange

#humor

Every shit happens for a sweet reason. ↗

— @shitlicious

#humor