#hum

And I thought -- when you're a half-hour late, and your friends think you're in jail, it's probably a sign you steal too much. ↗

— CrimethInc.

#humor

There is small merit in mocking goodness, tweaking charity; it is much more comic to deprive people of their petty little existence for no reason at all, for a lark. ↗

— Jacques Rigaut

#humor #humor

A critic is someone who enters the battlefield after the war is over and shoots the wounded. ↗

— Murray Kempton

#humor

If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation. ↗

— David Brent

#humor

Elephants are useful friends: they have handles on both ends. ↗

— Ogden Nash

#humor

He claimed that nearby gun thunder cleared the mind - but most everybody else agreed it made you daft. ↗

— Vernor Vinge

#insanity #war #humor

Interviewer: Have you ever considered writing nonfiction? Mary Doria Russell: Oh, honey, I did! Let's see...There was "A Reconsideration of the Evidence for Cannibalism at the Krapina Neandertal Site." That was a big hit. And who could ever forget "Cutmarks on the Engis II Calvarium"? Then there was "Browridge Development as a Function of Bending Stress in the Supraorbital Region." I got tons of reprint requests for that one. Trust me fiction is better. ↗

— Mary Doria Russell

#humor #interviews #science #humor

I think they're very attractive,' Abe agreed. 'I just don't think they're attractive, that's all. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#contradiction #humor #humor

Grace said,"Dr. Wexler was called away on an emergency operation." "An emergency Packers game in Green Bay," Turtle confided to Flora Baumbach. ↗

— Ellen Raskin

#humor

What are emotions exactly?' Lutta asked. 'Silly feelings that get in the way of actions. ↗

— Kathryn Lasky

#humor