#hum

Never trust a duck! ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Gran follows recipes by looking at picture—to the eye, delicious; to the tongue, boiled socks. Makes you wanna cry really. ↗

— Simon Cheshire

#family #humor #family

Perhaps the great renewal of the world will consist of this, that man and woman, freed of all confused feelings and desires, shall no longer seek each other as opposites, but simply as members of a family and neighbors, and will unite as human beings, in order to simply, earnestly, patiently, and jointly bear the heavy responsibility of sexuality that has been entrusted to them. ↗

— Rainer Maria Rilke

#love #sexuality #family

You and me-we've whored together. We've fought together.And I still dunna understand how ye always seems to know where the money is hidden and the liquor is stored and the scandals are richest.' It's a gift. ↗

— Christina Dodd

#gifts #humor #friendship

Friends are the support bras of life. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #friendship

College is so awesome! It's really too bad they try to ruin it with classes! ↗

— Jillian Dodd

#humor

It doesn’t matter if I don’t have a suit, you should still invite me swimming. That’s the naked truth. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #truth #funny

Yeah, this is night Dudders. This is what we call it when it goes all dark like this! *Dudley goes bright red* I mean when you're in bed! Whatdya mean? Am I supposed to be scared of pillows or something? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #magic #funny

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#funny #humor #funny

Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #boundaries #cartographer #funny #humor