#hum

The only way I’ll play beer pong is if the room was a sterile room, the table was stainless steel sprayed down with disinfectant, the ball brand new, and everybody playing wore gloves and hairnets underneath their space suits. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #funny

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#comedy-humor #comical #funny #funny-humor #humor

Throughout human history, the apostles of purity, those who have claimed to possess a total explanation, have wrought havoc among mere mixed-up human beings. ↗

— Salman Rushdie

#apostles #beings #claimed #explanation #havoc

I've done my best to work from a place of humility - always looking over your shoulder saying, "Does this suck?" and I think that's a good way to work. The other way to work is where you start to think, "I'm on fire, I'm amazing!" and I don't think that's the way to work. ↗

— David O. Russell

#amazing #best #does #done #fire

That's what takes people out of the fight half the time. They get hit and half the reaction is your ego is saying, 'I cannot believe that person just lit me up - how humiliating.' ↗

— David O. Russell

#cannot #ego #fight #get #half

What makes people the world over stand in line for Van Gogh is not that they will see beautiful pictures but that in an indefinable way they will come away feeling better human beings. And that is exactly what Van Gogh hoped for. ↗

— John Russell

#beautiful #beings #better #come #exactly

Human beings, from their own point of view, are very different than what people see. ↗

— Kurt Russell

#different #human #human beings #own #people

Humor is very very risky, particularly for a candidate, unless he's been in so long that it just doesn't matter, and he's not running for president. But it's just that people are so sensitive and so touchy, and you're just going to upset somebody without ever realizing it. ↗

— Mark Russell

#candidate #ever #going #humor #just

You know that a given in life in human nature, is that at a sporting event, a baseball game, a football game, you never introduce a politician, is because he'll be booed. I don't care if he's the most beloved person in the world, its part of the game. ↗

— Mark Russell

#baseball #baseball game #because #beloved #booed

At the risk of appearing disingenuous, I don't really think of myself as 'writing humor.' I'm simply reporting on the world I observe, which is frequently hilarious. ↗

— Richard Russo

#disingenuous #frequently #hilarious #humor #i