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#hum

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #hum




Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. ↗


— Charles Addams


#life #morticia-addams #humor

It was Lorraine in her nightie and Mo in his cap. They'd just settled their brains for a long winter's nap in front of the television. When out in the lot there arose such a clatter, they sprang from their recliners to see what was the matter. Away to the window they flew like a flash, tore open the blinds and threw up the sash. And what to their wondering eyes should appear, but Stephanie Plum and yet another of her cars burning front to rear. ↗


— Janet Evanovich


#humor

Oh. Oberon looked at me. I know that has to make you sad. But call to me instead, Atticus. I'll always answer. Your fly has been open all this time, by the way, and Granuaile hasn't said a thing. Thanks, buddy, I said silently as I tried to surreptitiously zip up my jeans. See? I got your back AND your front. I deserve a treat. ↗


— Kevin Hearne


#humor

The dumber people think you are, the most surprised they're going to be when you kill them. ↗


— William Clayton


#killing #humor

So many FREAKS and not enough CIRCUSES! ↗


— Rachel Renée Russell


#humor #humor

What is a quote? A quote (cognate with quota) is a cut, a section, a slice of someone's orange. You suck the slice, toss the rind, skate away. ↗


— Anne Carson


#humor #funny

Charlotte Stokehurst,” Violet Bridgerton announced, “is getting married.” “Today?” Hyacinth queried, taking off her gloves. Her mother gave her a look. “She has become engaged. Her mother told me this morning.” Hyacinth looked around. “Were you waiting for me in the hall?” “To the Earl of Renton,” Violet added. “Renton.” “Have we any tea?” Hyacinth asked. “I walked all the way home, and I’m thirsty.” “Renton!” Violet exclaimed, looking about ready to throw up her hands in despair. “Did you hear me?” “Renton,” Hyacinth said obligingly. “He has fat ankles.” “He’s—” Violet stopped short. “Why were you looking at his ankles? ↗


— Julia Quinn


#humor

friends don't threaten friends' distributor caps ↗


— C.E. Murphy


#humor

Dear Complete and Utter Stranger, The first thing that I have to say is that I hate oatmeal. I really hate it. And you know what? If you like oatmeal at all? I mean even the tiniest bit? I mean, say you were lost in the Himalayas, right, and you hadn't eaten anything except a Mars Bar for about seven years, right, and you're really cold and your fingers are all dropping off, right, and you look behind this rock, and there's this bowl of oatmeal? Say you would even think about eating the oatmeal? Well, JUST DON'T BOTHER WRITING TO ME, OKAY? ↗


— Jaclyn Moriarty


#humor

You came after me. Against the geas, you came after me.” He felt the shifting of muscle behind him as Bloodraven shrugged. “You ride like a pregnant woman. I feared for the horse. ↗


— P.L. Nunn


#humor






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