#hum

She Snores," said Siku, looking at me. "You better get earplugs. That kind of thing runs in the family." I opened my mouth, glancing at Caleb, whose eyes got wide in disbelief. Had Siku made a joke? I was too dumbfounded to reply. ↗

— Nina Berry

#romance #family

Don't ever trust men with good intentions. They'll always disappoint you." Leo ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#truth #humor

Save the Earth...it's the only planet with chocolate ↗

— Dianne Castell

#humor

Seriousness is for fools and poor destitute families who have lived their entire lives on spam. ↗

— Jason Krumbine

#seriousness #family

Christmas is the season when most folks kill themselves/Christmas is the reason for all these stupid bells ↗

— the Handsome Family

#bah-humbug #christmas #country #twang #family

There were still few rules at Down House, and Charles was not very good at enforcing the ones he and Emma did make. This was well known among his children. In 1855, when Lenny was about five, Charles walked in to find his son jumping up and down and tumbling all over a new sofa. 'Oh Lenny, Lenny,' Charles said. 'You know it is against all rules.' 'Then,' Lenny said to his papa, 'I think you'd better go out of the room.' And so Charles did. ↗

— Heiligman Deborah

#children #family-rules #humor #family

Pegasus's dad was poseidon, the god of the sea, and his mom was Medusa, and evil Gorgon who had fangs and lizard skin and living snakes for hair. And you thought your family was weird. ↗

— Evan Kuhlman

#mythology #family

Sleep with family is a napkin (nap plus kin), and I used a napkin as a blanket.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

This sucks the hind teat. ↗

— Patricia Grasso

#family

That's the thing with Holy Moses: big as a house and scary as heck if you don't know him, but Charley Manson and his whole family could come parading through here and he'd give them you room key for a slice of sharp cheddar." --Ms. Fisher, The Last Stop ↗

— Kirt J Boyd

#humor #family